I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize