You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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