she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
