How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize