so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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