The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
