I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
