I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
two words: eviction party
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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