i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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