They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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