Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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