he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The feeling are messing with the penis
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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