Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Randomize
