All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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