I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
