u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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