fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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