Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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