not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You made out with two different species that night
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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