Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
