so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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