I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
