You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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