My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
