dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
