Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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