is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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