I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
