id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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