She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
