Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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