sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
