I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
