i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
