You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
