It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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