You really coming over, don't trick.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
why is half of my head shaved?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
