what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
