I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
