Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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