Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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