I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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