sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
