why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
