i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
