He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
