Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
