She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
