Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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