i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
