btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize