At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
