New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
