life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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