I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
