kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
