Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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