Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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