I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
