also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
