I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
