im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
